State St. construction at standstill as construction workers leave to join Chippendales

It seems that the public's worst fears have come true: construction on State Street actually can last forever, according to recent reports that the number of construction workers within UDOT has dwindled rapidly lately due to the new recruiting efforts of the popular ladies’ stage show, “Chippendales.”

Chippendales Company is auditioning in every major city (e.g. Salt Lake City, San Diego, etc.) to create solid shows that play every weekend. Chippendales has had one of the largest turnouts of contestants ever for the coveted 11 available spots among construction workers along I-80 and State Street.

Chippendales hottie Billy John told us that “Chippendales in looking to expand” and “There’s no better place to find exactly what we’re looking for than construction pools in Salt Lake City and other major cities.”

Auditions can be viewed live during rush hour traffic along major portions of I-80 and State Street. Simply look for the overweight, sweaty men swinging their big tools and T-shirts around the construction site while their blubber flings around.

Chippendales hottie of the month Jason Crispie refused to tell us the name and intent of the upcoming weekend shows in Salt Lake City but an anonymous source told The Regal Seagull that “the show will be showing a lot more man than usual, if you know what I mean.” After this interview, Regal Seagull reporters forfeited their press passes to the opening night of the event.

More Utah news at The Regal Seagull