Protestors protest protestors

The General Conference for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints comes to Salt Lake City as clockwork as tulips bloom and golden leaves fall from tree branches. Along with its white shirt and conservative tie-clad men and skirt-wearing women can be seen and heard antagonists of the faith, shouting and holding biblically-charged literature in attempts to dissuade the believers from the Mormon Church.

Now comes a new kind of protestor – the protest protestor. Julian Banks and Leann Broadhead could be seen on the corner of North Temple and West Temple, mere feet away from the evangelical group holding signs with signs reading, “Protest Something Worthwhile” and “Jesus Wasn’t A Hater.” This activism against activism showcases a new variation of the right to assemble – the anti-protest gathering.

Insisting that they are agnostic, the couple nonetheless argued for an individual’s right to practice the religion of their won choosing.
“[The protestors] just seem like mean-spirited a—holes,” Julian said, his white T-shirt emblazoned with block letters saying, “Leave the Mo’s Alone.”

Leann says the two got their idea when past LDS protestors brought temple garments, considered sacred to the LDS faithful, to the corners outside the LDS Conference Center in the past. “I may think that special underwear is a strange concept, but I do have a fondness for a certain G-string that I wouldn’t want waved in public.”

The couple plans to recruit other tolerance-minded people to continue their defense of freedom of religion in the future, including plans to protest Scientology in coming weeks.

“In my book, Scientology is more bizarre than Mormonism,” says Julian. “It’s like a cyborg Joseph Smith on crack. But if people want to believe something wacky, that’s their right. I was raised Catholic, so enough said there.”

Leann, just returned from forcing a hug onto an evangelical protestor, chimed in, “They’ve been standing outside the Scientology center in black costumes and wearing those masks that Hugo Weaving wore in “V for Vendetta.” I would protest them in defense of Guy Fawkes.”

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