There is no joy in Mudville and, unfortunately, the same can be said for Salt Lake City and its Men’s High School sports. Last week the decision to establish a first ever Men’s Badminton League in Utah was overturned after nonstop protesting from outraged but misguided parents.Parents lined the sidewalks in front of city’s Board of Education, picketing what was seen by its progenitors, as a first in high school sports and possibly the gateway to other competitive sporting genres. “The thought behind starting a Badminton League was to bring athletics to a more diversified grouping of people,” said former High School coach Jack Strap, “Some kids may not possess the amount of talent it takes to throw a baseball 80 mph or even 40 mph at that, and some may not have the toughness to get on the grid iron. But it doesn’t mean that these kids should not participate in some sort of sporting activity. No one wants to be a band geek forever.”
Indeed not, this sports enthusiast agrees whole-hearted. To think, I might have had the chance to avoid persecution, dateless weekends and the daily beatings that went hand and hand with being a second chair French Horn player in a marching band. Instead, I could have worn short athletic shorts, a tank top and white tennis shoes, all the while, flinging myself about like an epileptic rabbit waving a dainty version of a tennis racquet and hitting what resembles a partial dead bird.
What were the arguments from the parental protestors? “It is an outrage! If I had my way and there is a good chance of that, I would have the sport outlawed and banned! When my son came home and expressed an interest in joining this sport, having practiced it after school one day, I just could not believe what I heard! To think that a school condones such actions on its campus is deplorable! He (the son) went on to tell me how they batted their shuttlecock around and because they did not know how to play, they were a little too rough with it and his friend had to pull his personal one out!” , rant courtesy of Rev. Martin Tisdale, leader of the Caring Outreach for Christian Kids or C.O.C.K. Rev Tisdale went on to exclaim, “I am not sure as to where they learned this from, but the guilty person will brought out and I am certain they have ties to NAMBLA (North American Man-Boy Love Association), and from what I have been told a good shuttlecocking will run you around $10 on the West end. Not that I would have ever known of such a thing.” When explained that this sport has existed for many years and that the Olympics have hosted the event, Rev. Tisdale retorted, “Well that makes sense that the Greeks would have invented something like this and all the better reason to ban it!”
Although several attempts to explain the finer points of badminton fell upon deaf and ignorant ears, the State High School Athletic Association decided to drop the campaign to bring this sport to light and have decided to possibly promote Doubles Horseshoes next year.
More Utah news at The Regal Seagull
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