Tuesday, May 6, 2008

Newest alternative fuel sparks 'cola wars'

Coca Cola and Pepsi Co. are re-tooling for increased production of their respective prime soft drinks due to an increased demand for cola, the new alternative fuel. Cola addicts can now buy coke and Pepsi in gallon amounts, at the service stations, also re-tooling but for cola distribution.

Coke and Pepsi, and the lesser cola products manufacturers, are currently in the middle of a war of hostile take-overs, slicing service stations out from underneath struggling oil companies, that have overnight lost control of energy markets. Consumers will soon find be accustomed to common sights of cola tankers, proudly displaying the various bottlers' logos and advertising, on the roads and highways hauling cola to service stations. Already, in some states, gas stations are converting to cola and consumers are lined up for cheap fuel.

Prices of coke have dropped drastically. At the service stations cola can be purchased by the gallon for fuel consumption or at a food grade level. Prices for cola at the pumps, now displayed as “High Test”, “Mid-Grade”, and “Food Grade,” advertise cola prices from 75 cents to $1.05 a gallon. Cola prices are expected to drop to 15 cents a gallon, reflecting actual costs of production, while allowing bottlers to increase profits, in spite of much lower prices, but exponentially increased sales.

Consumer advocates are concerned cola addicts will be purchasing fuel grade cola, less addictive than consumable cola, for their daily cola needs, and thus being weaned off their addiction to caffeine and other addictive ingredients found in food grade cola, but removed from cola fuel. "Hopefully consumers will not confuse their food grade gallon containers for the lawn-mower fuel", says Bobby van der Gulp, of Caring Concerned Consumers, CCC, a non-profit organization. Bobby also queries whether lower grade cola products will be less healthy, as a result of using cheaper, fuel grade sugar, resulting in new health problems not found at the pumps before.

More Utah news at The Regal Seagull

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