Idaho can't find identity, petitions federal government to become 'North Utah'

Frustrated with being known only for its potatoes, Idaho recently gave up its "Free Taters for Out of Staters" moniker in search of something more marketable.

"People weren't willing to come to our state just to eat potatoes," said Governor "Butch" Otter. "We needed something sexier."

According to the governor, something sexier comes in the form of their neighbor to the south: Utah.

"Utah has great skiing and outdoor activities," Otter said. "Naturally, we'd like to piggyback on that."

Before settling on Utah, Idaho explored several other options including, "West Montana" and "Northeast Nevada." They also tried an entirely different approach by entertaining the idea of sponsorships.

"We were very open to the idea of a corporate sponsorships," said Otter. "We were about to sign a deal with Frito Lay to become the Rold Gold Pretzel state. Unfortunately our request was denied by the Federal government. Naturally, we were disappointed."

After numerous appeals and millions of taxpayer dollars spent on legal fees, state leaders decided to withdraw their request and focus on following the example of states like the Dakotas, Virginias and the Carolinas.

At the moment, their petition to change their name to North Utah has been held up by the powers that be.

When asked if he would consider changing the name of his state to South Utah, Utah Governor John Huntsman replied, "No."

More Utah news at The Regal Seagull